Note none of the products below are endorsed, certified or manufactured by the NCAA teams named below, and no official endorsement is implied.

1) University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Tar Heels, light blue and white

Will the Heels take it all the way (and stomp Duke and UCLA while they’re at it?) Copy this Tar Heels fan’s look using the colors from our IceFx Winter Vampire kit.

Here’s a Tar Heel foot to use as a guide.

Tar Heel blue wig

Tar Heel blue top hat

2) University of California Los Angeles - UCLA Bruins, blue and gold

The Bruin madness! If your bracket shows UCLA winning it all, check out our blue and gold below. (That other Los Angeles school is already out—surprise, surprise.)

Bruins blue boa

Bruins blue wig

Bruins gold glitter

Bruins gold pimp chain

3) University of Memphis Tigers, blue & orange

The top seeded Tigers look to finish in the Final Four. Go all out with super-deluxe, pro-quality tiger mascots. Choose from fierce or friendly. We also offer a budget version. Order now as all mascots are special order items and require two weeks lead time.

Tigers pride giant orange sunglasses

Tigers pride orange top hat

Cat ear and tail set (vinyl bodysuit sold separately)

Cat makeup kit

4) University of Texas Longhorns, orange

Go Horns! Texas is second-seeded and has reached the Sweet 16 four times in the last six years. The Texas A&M Aggies are still in it—are you?

Viking helmet

giant orange foam cowboy hat

horns

5) Kansas University Jayhawks, red & royal blue with yellow accents

The Jayhawks are top-seeded, and KU has one of the coolest mascots around. There are so many different ways to show Jayhawk pride.

Jayhawks blue makeup

Jayhawks pride red, gold & blue feather mask

Jayhawks pride red feather mask with gold accents

red eyelashes

blue eyelashes

6) University of Tennessee Volunteers, orange & white

The Vols are second-seeded this year, and coming strong out of their first tourney game. Can they beat Memphis and take it all the way?

Vols pride giant orange sunglasses

Vols pride orange top hat

Vols orange pimp costume

Vols orange boa

Vols orange & white wig

Vols orange & white tuxes (allow 2 weeks for delivery)

7) Duke Blue Devils

Even though the Devils are second-seeded, Henderson still had to save the day against Belmont with a last minute dunk. Polish up that Duke pride by combining a blue head and light-up devil horns.

Add Light up devil horns or devil tail, staff & bow tie to the True Blue Kit for true blue Duke pride.

University of Wisconsin Badgers, red & white

Cal State Fullerton gave Wisconsin more than they bargained for in round one, but the Badgers still prevailed. Wear red and white for the Badgers with the gear below.

Badgers red face paint

Here’s a W to get you started.

Maybe the refs are clowns; it sure ain’t the Badgers. Check out our Badgers red & white clown wig.

Badgers red feather boa

9) Georgetown Hoyas, blue and white, bulldog

The huge point spread in the Hoyas’s first tournament game has the rest of March Madness looking good.

This bulldog mascot will fire up the crowd. Note that this is a special order item; call for availability.

Hoyas blue boa

Hoyas blue wig

10) Stanford Cardinal, trees, scarlet & white

Stanford easily beat Cornell in the first round, showing why the Cardinal is number three seeded. But if the Cardinal survives to face UCLA, it’ll bring back bad memories of the March 15 defeat. Will Stanford prevail this time?

Cardinal red face paint

Shake it Stanford tree style with this grass skirt.

This costume becomes a Stanford Tree when you remove just a few things.

If things aren’t quite right on the court, this Cardinal & white angel & devil outfit fits the bill.

I often hear people lamenting about how the romance is dead in their relationships, that there isn’t any spark anymore, that it’s so predictable. Why is that? In a world where the phone you bought today is outdated by next week why are we allowing ourselves to still be running on Romance 1.0. Let’s be honest, today red roses and boxes of chocolate are the romantic equivalent of the Atari Game system or 8 track player. Granted, both worked well and were ‘the thing’ but that was over 20 years ago. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time for an upgrade: a romance upgrade. And my recommended weapon of choice: lingerie.

Now, I know that some upgrades may seem a bit scary at first (I still have a slight heart attack when I upgrade to the latest version of iTunes fearful that I will lose my entire Neil Diamond catalog) but they are a necessity. Depending on the system you are currently running, I’d like to break the upgrade down into the following three levels.

Upgrade Level One: The Starter Kit
Basically, these are the bra and panty sets your mom never told you about. Why? I’m not sure. You’d have to ask her. Regardless, these are the sets that when you put them on they automatically boost your confidence and make you feel prettier. Speaking of boost, ‘the girls’ will get an upgrade of their own as these sets have a little bit of oomph built in. Nothing that requires you to purchase a stripper pole for your living room (see upgrade level 3) but just gives them a better view. Not up for a two piece? There are always teddies. It’s the lingerie upgrade of that favorite concert t-shirt of his that you like to sleep in. Keep in mind that you aren’t exposing anything more than you normally would, but between the feel of the satin on your skin and the touch of lace, you already may begin to feel a bit frisky. Just remember, subtle can most certainly be sexy.

Perhaps, after reading about the Starter Kit, you’re giving me a slight roll of the eyes and saying, ‘Puhlease, I wear those sets to work.’ Okay you saucy little minx, let’s take it up a notch. I see your bra and panties set and raise you a g-string (I’m in Vegas, we all speak poker). Everyone has to start somewhere and for you, I recommend Upgrade Level Two: Less is More.

Upgrade Level Two: Less is More
Very good, grasshopper. You have mastered the sexiness of subtly and are more confident than ever. Satin and lace are your new best friends and you’re ready to for the next big thing. Well, when you’re talking about lingerie, it’s not necessarily the next big thing as it may be the next littlest thing. Or maybe see through thing or tie up thing. Remember that show, ‘Let’s Make a Deal?’ and how everyone got all riled up when Monty Hall said “Let’s see what’s behind the curtain!”? Consider yourself a much sexier Monty Hall and your lover that extremely-anxious-and-willing-to-do-anything-to-see-what’s-behind-the-curtain contestant. Are you picking up what I’m laying down? Anyway you look at it, something is going to be peeking through that he’s not used to playing peek-a-boo with and he will love it. Give new meaning to a tug on the heart strings in a teddy with a pair of front lace up panties or side ribbon tied tanga shorts with matching bandeau top. Fishnets are fabulous and not just for your legs anymore. Bolder and sassier, you my friend are clearly on your way to becoming the next vixen of va va voom, the guru of grrr but most importantly, the master of your domain.

Now for a majority of people, Level Two is the pinnacle of their romance upgrading and that is beautiful! There are so many things that you can do on that level that your romance life will never get dull. But if you are still ready to take it up another notch, I’m happy to give you a little guidance. However, please note: the final upgrade level is not for everyone. It’s the most provocative, the most eye-popping and for some the most fun. It’s the reason for the phrase ‘you never know what happens behind closed doors’. The ladies of the upgrade level three know who they are so well that they are comfortable being somebody else. At least for a little while.

Upgrade Level Three: Master of Her Domain
Fantasies are like email accounts – everyone’s got at least one and you only share certain addresses with certain people. Level Three ladies know exactly what his or her fantasy is and will put on whatever is necessary to make it come to life. She’s the type that will send him naughty little texts throughout the day and then greet him at the door in nothing but a boa, a pair of heels and a smile. Maybe she’s been a naughty little school girl and he’s the disciplining headmaster. Whatever the role may be, she’s got a piece of lingerie in her treasure trunk of adventure to turn the fantasy into reality.

So where does this leave us? Well, no child in a third world country was fed, gas prices haven’t fallen and there will still be one guy out there who thinks roses and a box of chocolates is the end all and be all to romance. And while your phone may still be outdated, at least your romantic life is on its way to a serious upgrade.

Have you ever tried to argue with a 3 1/2 year old? I can tell you it doesn’t work too well. AND, some of you may be wondering how a 3 1/2 even knows about vampires - its not as if they’re fashionable like Transformers. I can only surmise that his knowledge came from the many Halloween decorations we saw on our evening strolls through our neighborhood in the weeks leading up to the holiday.

I had a few days to sew a black cape and such, but with the cookie-baking, pumpkin carving and trick-or-treat bag to finish, I didn’t have much time. Luck for me, HalloweenMart had last-minute express shipping. I ordered a cape and plastic fangs, slicked his hair back, powdered his face and dotted his lips with red gloss. Voila - a mine-Dracula.

No, I didn’t get to make the elaborate costume I usually do, but he was happy!

Now we’re working on our Thanksgiving centerpieces…

Crashing and burning is such a possibility that NASCAR drivers use a special flame retardant suit. Well guess who ole Nick needed to call up to get myself a stylish and realistic NASCAR driver suit? Well HalloweenMart.com of course…By the way, did you happen to see that spot on E! News Daily the other day? They had a pre-Halloween fashion show and they had some killer costumes including a smokin’ Playboy Bunny outfit.

Any way, I digress…Back to NASCAR costumes. I needed a distraction in this investigation, a bit of “eye candy” to help me sneak around the restricted areas of the racetrack, so I brought along a babe that I employ from time to time (let’s call her Trixie) who looked smokin’ herself in a sexy NASCAR get-up… Now mind you, no one was fooled that Trixie was a real bonafide NASCAR driver, as hot as Danica Patrick is, the real deal can not compete with the sexy costume.

While Trixie dazzled the pit crews I was able to snoop around for tell-tale signs of sabotage. To make a long story short someone had a bone to pick with the management of the Las Vegas Motor Speedway and kept sabotaging racecars. Well once we exposed the saboteur Trixie and I got the VIP treatment…not sipping champagne in the Winner’s Circle but we made a lot of fans and drivers very happy campers.

Next time, we go to the ring at Caesar’s Palace….

Top Lecter quote: “I ate his liver with fava beans and a big chianti.”

Freddie Kruger
Commonly identified by his burnt disfigured face, red and green striped sweater, brown fedora hat, and trademark metal-clawed leather glove, Freddy Krueger is the main fictional character from the A Nightmare on Elm Street series of films. Krueger is an undead serial killer[1] who can attack his victims supernaturally from within their own dreams when they are in a state of sleep.

Top Krueger quote: “I’m gonna kill you slow.”

Norman Bates
Poor Norman, most famously portrayed Anthony Perkins in the 1960 film Psycho, had mommy issues. As little boy, he is dominated by his mother, and has to do what she told him. As “Norma” Bates, he dresses in her clothes, mimics her voice, and kills anyone who threatens to come between her and her “Norman,” especially attractive young women. As “Normal” Bates, he is a (barely) functioning adult who can run the motel and keep peace between the other two personalities. He is finally arrested after he murders a young woman named Mary Craneand Milton Arbogast, a private investigator sent to look for her. Bates is declared insane and sent to an institution, where the “mother” personality completely takes hold; he completely becomes his mother.

Top Norman quote: “We all go a little mad sometimes.”

Jack Torrance
Famously portrayed by Jack Nicholson in the 1980 film, The Shining, moves into the isolated and enormous, Overlook Hotel with his wife, and young, telepathic son, Danny to finish a play and rebuild his life after being fired from teaching. But things quickly go to hell in a handbasket when Jack succumbs to both cabin fever and alcoholism, and allows the hotel to convince him to hate his own wife and child. Eventually he chases his son to a hedge maze where he gets lost and freezes to death.

Most famous quotes toss up: “Red Rum, Red Rum or Here’s Johnny.”

Jason Voorhees
Jason Voorhees, the villain from Friday the 13th slasher films, is most well-know for his signature hockey mask and machete.The trademark hockey mask did not appear until Friday the 13th Part 3. Since Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, filmmakers have given Jason superhuman strength, and near invulnerability. He has been seen as a sympathetic character, albeit one whose motivation for killing has been cited as driven by the immoral actions of his victims.

Famous Jason quotes: “He doesn’t talk!”

Count Dracula
One of the most popular and oldest scary movie characters, Bram Stoker’s Dracula tells the story of Jonathan Harker who is sent to Transylvania, where he meets the vampire who has been “Un-Dead” for several hundred years and keeps his vitality by sucking blood from live victims. Dracula has appeared in more films than any other fictional character.

Most Famous Dracula: “I vant to suck your blood!”

Frankenstein
Dr. Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) wants to build a man in his own image, using the body of a dead man. He and his assistent Fritz (Dwight Frye) dig up a freshly burried coffin and steal the body. When they realize the head and the brains of the body are severely damaged, they decide to steal a brain from Dr. Frankensteins former teacher Dr. Waldman (Edward van Sloan). When Fritz accidentely drops the glass jar with the label “good brain” on it on the floor, he decides to take the glass jar with the label “bad brain”. Using some kind of mysterious ray that Dr. Frankenstein discovered, the body is brought to life during a thunderstorm, and the monster of Frankenstein (Boris Karloff) is born.

Later, when Dr. Frankenstein realizes that he has created an agressive monster, he and Fritz lock the monster up in a cell. When the monster is repeatedly bullied and provoked by Fritz, the monster eventually manages to kill him. When the monster escapes, he meets a little girl playing near the water. The monster and the girl throw flowers in the water. Enjoying the playing, the clumsy monster proceeds to pick up the girl and throw her in the water, too. Later we learn that the little girl drowned in the incident, when her father carries her through the streets.

The city’s population propel into an uproar, demanding the death of Frankensteins monster. The monster is driven into an old mill, after which the people of the city set the mill on fire.

Famous Frankenstein quote: “It’s alive! It’s alive!”

Carrie
High school was definitely a drag for Carrie portrayed by Sissy Spacek in the 1976 film written by Stephen King. She only wants friends, but everyone only ridicules, harasses and berates this odd duck including her mother who’s bizarre and abusive mothering techniques only serves to continue pushing her over the edge. On her prom, the tormented Carrie finally gets pushed too far and covered with pig’s blood, uses her powers cause the death of the entire student body.

Famous Carrie Quote: “I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.”

Chucky
Young Andy Barclay sees a commercial for a ‘Good Guy’ doll on TV, and asks his mother for one for his birthday. At work, Andy’s mom and her friend discover a peddler selling one for a low price, and she buys it. What she doesn’t know is that the particular doll contains the spirit of Charles Lee Ray, aka ‘The Lakeshore Strangler’, who died at the hands of police the night before and had transferred his spirit to the doll by voodoo. That night, Andy’s babysitter is pushed from their 5th-floor window to her death, and only young Andy knows that ‘Chucky’ - the doll - is responsible for that a death and a series of murders that follow. Worse than that, the soul of Charles Lee Ray is trying to get out of the doll’s body - and take over Andy’s…

Famous Chucky quote: “Hi, I’m Chucky. Wanna play?”

Annie Wilkes
In Misery, another flick directly from the demented mind of Stephen King, famous novelist, Paul Sheldon, is “rescued” by obsessive fan Annie Wilkes. Wilkes is the the “number one fan” of Paul’s heroine Misery Chastaine. He comes to realize Annie’s cheery demeanor is a front for a cunning, brutal and dangerously disturbed individual and Paul finds himself crippled, drugged and at her mercy.

Famous Annie Wilkes line: “MISERY IS ALIVE, MISERY IS ALIVE! OH, This whole house is going to be full of romance, OOOH, I AM GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!”

And he was not just any doctor; he was a super cute doctor. I was sooo embarrassed! But he was super-nice and was like, “don’t worry about it.” But I felt so lame. He said his name was Jason, and then I asked him what kind of doctor he was.

Ok, embarrassed again. Jason was not a doctor; he was just on his way to audition for something too. I felt so lame since it only made sense…I mean why would a doctor be in the parking lot of Warner Bros?

I did not know what to say so I told him he looked just like a real doctor! He said he bought the costume on HalloweenMart.com. That was when we totally started bonding because I told him I buy all my costumes there too! We have so much I common. Then he asked for my number and we have a date for Saturday!

While uncovering ancient treasures, we had the inspired idea that my son should be a mummy for Halloween! And since I love to create handmade costumes (my best so far are a bunch of grapes and a scarecrow), I figured I could easily do a mummy! I had grand visions of the whole family getting into the act with my husband as a Pharoah and myself as a lovely Queen of the Nile. I could even spray paint the cat black and carry her around the neighborhood with me.

But then my son said that not only would he like to be a mummy, but he would like to be a mummy in a sarcophagus. I had to explain to him that it would be difficult to get treats into his pyramid-shaped goodie bag if he couldn’t walk down the steet because he was lying in a coffin. He said we could carry him down the street like an Egyptian funeral procession. I’m a hands-on mom and all, but that’s a bit TOO hands-on…

So the countdown is on. I’ve got 14 days left to figure out the costume, make it and buy matching ones for us. Stay tuned!

Pets

These will get some great reactions from the neighbors…

Geeky Costumes

For the inner geek in us all….

These Transformer costumes are pretty dang cool and most look to be the original colors…

Completely Inappropriate Costumes

Costumes you don’t want to wear when your mom is around…

I wore it out the other day, and you know what? It is totally true what they say…blonds do have more fun. I seriously felt like people treated me more like an intellectual with black hair than when I have my regular (or at least thanks to bleach and a good hairdresser) blond hair. I even wore the wig to work and people at didn’t even recognize me! My boss was so confused. He was like, “I don’t remember hiring you.”

Hey, I wonder what happens with red hair…Maybe that can be an experiment next week.

Rather, I am THE Widow, as in, the Widow Murphy, for the annual Paddy Murphy competition thrown every year by my favorite fraternity!

You see, Paddy Murphy was a Prohibition-era bootlegger and former fraternity brother who died fighting for his cause. Can you imagine a time when drinking wasn’t legal? Although I suppose you could also call that “high school”. Anyway, the fraternity now throws a week long series of events in honor of this event. There’s a funeral procession, a skit night, and at the end of the week, a formal, each of which requires the Widow to dress in the finest fashions the 1920’s had to offer! I have to represent, Y’all!

I ransacked HalloweenMart.com for all of my needs. I picked up the loveliest little flapper dresses – in red, for the formal, and black, for the funeral, fabulous feather boas,
and beads galore!

The only thing I couldn’t find online was a formal date, but that’s okay. That’s what Monday’s Moonshine Masquerade party is for. Wish me luck!

Maybe now I will get a boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong…I have plenty of dates, I just feel like none of the guys I go out with take me seriously. Like they think that just because I am blond and perky, I have no brain. I mean really, I do think about more than shoes and make up. I read US magazine and sometimes even People! I keep up with the news. I even read my email newsletters. Today I got one from HalloweenMart.com with some very interesting facts about the holiday including a 15% off coupon. Right on! Visit their site and sign up for their newsletters so you can get the coupons too.

Well the phone rang and it was officials from one of the nation’s largest medical centers –Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center. You might know it better as General Hospital.

Appaently around every autumnal equinox there are mysterious disappearances of body parts from the hospital and the coroner’s office. These officials did not know if this was some strange sort of satanic or druid practice or if it were some criminal venture so they needed old Nick’s help…

I called the hotline to my buds at Halloweenmart.com to help equip me, you see I needed myself some authentic looking Doctor Scrubs and some realistic looking body parts if I was going to get to the bottom of the case. I loaded up on fake body part props like a severed arm, a fake heart, some eyeballs, blue of course, come on this is the land of the beautiful people baby. And finished up with a severed foot and a cut off head just in case this was a case of freaks doing weird satanic stuff in the mountains…

Well, to make a long story short, it was a case of a seriously disturbed individual who was “building” a best buddy piece by piece…Grusome and frankly disgusting…that severed head was just too big of a temptation and right about now he is being transported by two of L.A.’s finest to their Twin Towers Correctinal Facility.
Hell, if it was good enough for Paris Hilton then it sure as hell is good enough for Norman Bates’ long lost brother. To be continued…

I was worried for a bit when our National officer said that the foam boobs were inappropriate for a Rush skit. I mean, it’s not like the “bad parts” weren’t covered up! Fortunately, my Little Sis improvised with a pair of cantaloupes from the kitchen, and the girls all got the joke nonetheless I’ll save the foam pair for another party, I guess. Or maybe give them to Mark for this documentary he is making. Film class sounds like so much fun! I should see if he needs any help…

Anyhoo, now that we have these great new girls, it’s time to celebrate! Every year we do our Bid Day Party with the Delts, and this year we’ve agreed on a Mardi Gras theme. The new fraternity pledges will come to our house, sing to our new pledges, and then the girls may grant them beads only when they are satisfied with the serenade. Fun, right?! I just hope the girls don’t do anything stupid later for beads of their own. I’d hate for our house to get a bad rep on campus. Again.

I ordered the beads and feather boas off HalloweenMart.com – I wonder if I can set up a wholesale account at this point. I’ve used them so much this year, and it’s not even October!

Anyway…this week we are having like three events with this party promotion company at the bar. The theme is of course college football since all the games will be on (maybe that’s why I started missing college). I got the hottest cheerleading outfits at HalloweenMart.com! Hope to get event better tips than usual! Thanks HalloweenMart.com.

I stroll on into work with five minutes to spare, sunglasses on to block out any Nevada sunshine and hopefully ease this headache. I’m clutching a can of my favorite energy drink in an effort to kick start my morning and drown these butterflies that have seem to set up shop in my gut. So I clock in and Raven is right there. She tries to play it off like she is ready to put me to work, but really, I think she’s just looking to log in some Q.T. with the cutie. Crazy little minx is crazy for the Jinx!

‘Rough night, kiddo?’ she says with a sly smile that looked quite innocent at the time, but now looking back on it, was pure evil. She knew what she was going to put me through right from the get go and she loved every minute of it.

We leave the office and go down to the warehouse where there are boxes everywhere. We keep getting in new stuff literally every day so the warehouse crew is constantly filling orders and getting new products out to the store. Once it comes out to the floor – that’s the lingo us costume consultants use – we are responsible for pricing it and putting it up on the shelves. I did this a little bit yesterday with some costumes so I figure maybe the High School Musical costumes arrived or the shipment of sexy pirate costumes hit the dock. My vote was for the pirate costumes because I just didn’t feel like staring at that Chicken Corbin Bleu’s mug all morning long. But I digress.

Bottom line, there was no High School Musical.

There were no pirates.

Just body parts. Everywhere. It was like a freaking morgue exploded! Arms, legs, feet, eyeballs, everything - just sprawled out across the showroom floor. And these things are not like Cracker Jack quality kind of body parts. These things are so realistic that as soon as my eyes got a glimpse of the partially eaten hand, I gagged. I literally made an audible ‘glug’ noise. Now, I’m a guy and this stuff doesn’t bother me but today, it was bothering me. Raven totally heard me gag. I haven’t seen a head whip around so quickly since I watched the Exorcist.

‘You think you can handle this today? Or is your tummy just not up for it?’ she said. But of course she does it in that condescending voice which immediately means I can’t wimp out.

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ I say with as much confidence in myself as I can possibly muster. Internally, I know this is going to be a rough one but no way am I going to let her see me let a little severed limb or bloody brain get to me. Side note: those butterflies have now evolved into a small alien that is using my lower abdomen as a trampoline. Greeeaaaattt.

So I dive in and start sorting severed arms from severed legs. Severed arms with sleeves from severed arms without sleeves. Partially eaten hands and legs from skeleton hands and legs. I can feel Raven staring at me, but not in that longing for my touch kind of way, but more of a ‘I-wanna-see-this-guy-squirm’ kind of way. Witchy, witchy woman she is. So I keep plugging away all the while thinking about how I can torture my little sister with this stuff. Severed arm under her sheets, eyeball floating in her container of juice, cut off finger in the bottom of her bookbag. Good times, good times. During all my evil plotting I lose myself in thoughts of girlish squeals and shrieks of terror to the point of almost forgetting about my stomach alien. How quickly I was reminded.

Raven yells to me ‘You can take your lunch now if you want. That is of course if your poor wittle tummy can handle wit.’ Again with the condescending voice, but this time she punctuated it with a little chuckle at my expense. I give her my classic smile and head nod as if to say, “Tease me if you wish, but I’ve got it all under control’ and head towards the break room. As I walk through the door, one of my fellow costume consultants Stan advises me that he has some left over food in the fridge if I want it. I love my co-workers – always looking out for the Jinx.

Entering into the break room I head straight for the fridge. The usual break room delicacies reside in the fridge: leftover Chinese, spaghetti ohs, cold pizza and random Rubbermaid containers filled with something that was once somebody’s dinner. I grab the container marked ‘Stanley’, cop a squat at the table, fork in hand ready to dive on in. At this point, the alien has taken a nap and I’m going to sneak some food in there. Looks like Stan has left me some spaghetti and meatballs so I tear off the lid ready to devour the leftovers. However, instead of seeing a delightful conglomeration of spaghetti, meatballs and sauce, a bloody, disembodied heart is staring back at me. My gasp of surprise apparently woke the alien up and in turn scared him causing me to go running for the sink, where, how do I say?? Let the alien be free. Not fun.

When I finish saying my last goodbyes to my stomach alien, I turn around to find Raven and Stan doubled over with laughter. I, however, remain un-amused.

‘What was that for!?’ I bellow at them.

Finally, after wiping away tears from their fits of laughter and catching their breath, Raven looks at me and simply says ‘Welcome to the HalloweenMart team. We’re a real scream!” I smile, partially because it was pretty funny and a unique rite of passage, but more because I’ve already started plotting my revenge.

Til next time compadres, get naked! We’ve got you covered.

That is the extent of my experience with super heroes.

But, being a connoisseur of the science fiction genre, by husband has instilled a great love and appreciation for super heroes within our son. At 3 ½, he can tell you who is a DC hero and who is a Marvel hero. He knows the origin stories of Superman, Batman, Spiderman and the Hulk. His favorite DVD to watch is old Super Friends cartoons. And today, Grandma bought him a giant Captain America action figure.

In fact, when he wakes up from his nap, his plan is to teach me about the origin of Green Lantern (hey, I’d like a power ring too – preferably one that whips up dinner!).

So of course, my son thinks that Halloween is the perfect time to try being a Super Hero himself. The only problem is he can’t decide which one he wants to be. I thought he had settled on Batman, but today he told me he thinks he wants to be Spiderman. Good thing I know that HalloweenMart has ‘em all – and quick shipping too!

Now that school is in full swing, my next big project is Sorority Rush. Our Rush Chair, Ashleigh, is really pretty and sooo nice, and she does an AMAZING job of coordinating our Rush parties and getting the best girls to come back for Preference Round. My job is to come up with themes for the informal parties, and make sure that each one is as fun as any other event we do, even though no boys or alcohol are allowed. (Mission: Near Impossible! [JK!!! LOL!])

This year, I decided that our theme would be “Welcome to Hollywood.” I’ve never actually been to L.A., but when you read Us Weekly as much as I do (in fact, I wish they would change it to US Twice-Weekly!) you just start picking things up.

For the party, I’ve ordered a ton of props from HalloweenMart.com, including “trophy wife” jewelry, fake $100 bills, and even ordered a pair of fake foam boobs which my Little Sis will wear in our hilariously funny rush skit based on our favorite MTV show, The Hills. She’ll be Heidi, natch. BTW, what’s the deal with Heidi this season? What can she possibly see in Spencer? I personally think they are both as fake as her new boobs, and I really hope we don’t get any more girls like that in this house.

Okay, off to plan! GO, GREEK!

When will my big break come? Doesn’t the fact that I went to NYU and spent my whole life dancing count for anything?

I do have a few good auditions this week. So far two commercials and one independent feature…a horror film. That one is tomorrow. The part I am going out for is the sorority girl who gets killed at the costume party. Whether or not I get the part I am excited. I got the cutest costume at HalloweenMart.com. I’m gonna be a go-go dancer. So hot, the casting people will definitely notice me! I have been practicing my lines…”Sure Jake, I do want to go walk by the lake with you.” Maybe this could be the part that gets me on my way.

I better go to bed and get my beauty sleep. Hope my roommate and her boyfriend are quiet in the morning. So annoying living with Mr. Trainer and Miss Hotbod. Do they have to do kickboxing at 6am in the living room?!

Here’s what we’re going to miss about this summer: hours of running through the hose in the backyard; swim lessons at the local pool; growing tomatoes; making easy summer suppers like Caprese salad with said tomatoes; and swinging in the hammock and counting stars.

Here’s what we’re excited about for fall: a new class, new teachers and new friends; college football; collecting leaves; music lessons and Halloween.

While all that may sound like fun and games to you, however, I have my work cut out for me! Less than a week after I return, we’ll have our annual Season Opener Football Feast with our brother Fraternity, and I’m in charge of making sure everyone gets in the spirit. Since nothin’ says “welcome” like a little down-home barbecue (and, okay, an excuse to show off that summer tan!) I’ve decided that this year’s theme should be a Luau. Hu-la-la!

Good thing HalloweenMart.com offers costumes and accessories year round! I was able to order flowered leis and grass skirts for the entire house, and they’ll be shipped just in time for my arrival. The only thing I haven’t figured out yet is where to buy coconuts in bulk. Mark, the Fraternity social chair, mentioned something about having a “wet coconut contest”, but I guess I’ll let him figure that one out.

Okay, gotta “rum!” LOL!