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Upgrade the Romance with 3 Levels of Lingerie Mastery

Romance: A mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful.

I often hear people lamenting about how the romance is dead in their relationships, that there isn’t any spark anymore, that it’s so predictable. Why is that? In a world where the phone you bought today is outdated by next week why are we allowing ourselves to still be running on Romance 1.0. Let’s be honest, today red roses and boxes of chocolate are the romantic equivalent of the Atari Game system or 8 track player. Granted, both worked well and were ‘the thing’ but that was over 20 years ago. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time for an upgrade: a romance upgrade. And my recommended weapon of choice: lingerie.

Now, I know that some upgrades may seem a bit scary at first (I still have a slight heart attack when I upgrade to the latest version of iTunes fearful that I will lose my entire Neil Diamond catalog) but they are a necessity. Depending on the system you are currently running, I’d like to break the upgrade down into the following three levels.

Upgrade Level One: The Starter Kit
Basically, these are the bra and panty sets your mom never told you about. Why? I’m not sure. You’d have to ask her. Regardless, these are the sets that when you put them on they automatically boost your confidence and make you feel prettier. Speaking of boost, ‘the girls’ will get an upgrade of their own as these sets have a little bit of oomph built in. Nothing that requires you to purchase a stripper pole for your living room (see upgrade level 3) but just gives them a better view. Not up for a two piece? There are always teddies. It’s the lingerie upgrade of that favorite concert t-shirt of his that you like to sleep in. Keep in mind that you aren’t exposing anything more than you normally would, but between the feel of the satin on your skin and the touch of lace, you already may begin to feel a bit frisky. Just remember, subtle can most certainly be sexy.

Perhaps, after reading about the Starter Kit, you’re giving me a slight roll of the eyes and saying, “Puhlease, I wear those sets to work.” Okay you saucy little minx, let’s take it up a notch. I see your bra and panties set and raise you a g-string (I’m in Vegas, we all speak poker). Everyone has to start somewhere and for you, I recommend Upgrade Level Two: Less is More.

Upgrade Level Two: Less is More
Very good, grasshopper. You have mastered the sexiness of subtly and are more confident than ever. Satin and lace are your new best friends and you’re ready to for the next big thing. Well, when you’re talking about lingerie, it’s not necessarily the next big thing as it may be the next littlest thing. Or maybe see through thing or tie up thing. Remember that show, ‘Let’s Make a Deal?’ and how everyone got all riled up when Monty Hall said “Let’s see what’s behind the curtain!”? Consider yourself a much sexier Monty Hall and your lover that extremely-anxious-and-willing-to-do-anything-to-see-what’s-behind-the-curtain contestant. Are you picking up what I’m laying down? Anyway you look at it, something is going to be peeking through that he’s not used to playing peek-a-boo with and he will love it. Give new meaning to a tug on the heart strings in a teddy with a pair of front lace up panties or side ribbon tied tanga shorts with matching bandeau top. Fishnets are fabulous and not just for your legs anymore. Bolder and sassier, you my friend are clearly on your way to becoming the next vixen of va va voom, the guru of grrr but most importantly, the master of your domain.

Now for a majority of people, Level Two is the pinnacle of their romance upgrading and that is beautiful! There are so many things that you can do on that level that your romance life will never get dull. But if you are still ready to take it up another notch, I’m happy to give you a little guidance. However, please note: the final upgrade level is not for everyone. It’s the most provocative, the most eye-popping and for some the most fun. It’s the reason for the phrase ‘you never know what happens behind closed doors’. The ladies of the upgrade level three know who they are so well that they are comfortable being somebody else. At least for a little while.

Upgrade Level Three: Master of Her Domain
Fantasies are like email accounts ; everyone’s got at least one and you only share certain addresses with certain people. Level Three ladies know exactly what his or her fantasy is and will put on whatever is necessary to make it come to life. She’s the type that will send him naughty little texts throughout the day and then greet him at the door in nothing but a boa, a pair of heels and a smile. Maybe she’s been a naughty little school girl and he’s the disciplining headmaster. Whatever the role may be, she’s got a piece of lingerie in her treasure trunk of adventure to turn the fantasy into reality.

So where does this leave us? Well, no child in a third world country was fed, gas prices haven’t fallen and there will still be one guy out there who thinks roses and a box of chocolates is the end all and be all to romance. And while your phone may still be outdated, at least your romantic life is on its way to a serious upgrade.

Posted on 14 February '08 by admin, under Lingerie. Comments.